Good Enough
by Tundra Girl
Summary: She loved him – that was that. She was in love with him, with Richard Grayson, her best friend. It wasn't just a crush, it wasn't just affection borne out of a deep and strong friendship – it was love. It hurt so much because it was love.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Hello, guys! Here's another one for you. This one is drama-flavoured and I'm not sure how I did with this. If this svcked, please don't be too harsh, haha! I'm trying to write as much as I can because I'll be starting OJT on Monday and free time may become scarce. Anyways, I won't talk too much. Just proceed on ahead and I hope you enjoy!

 **DISCLAIMER: TEEN TITANS and all related characters and elements are trademarks of DC Comics.**

* * *

 **GOOD ENOUGH**

There was nothing else but the falling rain.

She stood very still, eyes staring straight ahead. The rain drenched her, seeping into her bones. Her hair draped over her face like a wet curtain and she took solace in the scant cover it offered, if only to hide herself from the world, if only to pretend she wasn't hurting.

But she was. Very much.

A sob wracked her frail body but she refused to let it out. She will not cry out. Because if she does, she feared she might not be able to stop.

But the tears flooded her eyes and she let them run down her cheek. But she will not cry out. Not for that. Not for him.

" _Vic?"_

" _Hey, there, Dark Girl! What can I do for you?"_

 _She smiled at the guy. "I'm looking for Richard. Have you seen him?"_

 _Victor flashed a grin at her, wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh? Why might you be looking for him? Does it have anything to do with the movie date you two will be going on later?"_

 _A light blush bloomed on her pale cheeks. "It's not a date," she tried to glare at the boy but he was unfazed._

" _Riiiiight~" Victor chuckled. "Well, I think Richard went back to the classroom to get his bag."_

" _Thanks, Vic." Rachel gave a small smile before turning to head to the classroom. As she walked away, she heard Victor yell after her, "I want details on the date!"_

 _It wasn't a date at all, really._

 _She and Richard had been friends for forever. Best friends, perhaps, even if he has Roy Harper and Wally West as closest buddies. She was his closest girl friend. He was her closest friend, period._

 _There was a new movie out in the theaters and she had mentioned in passing of wanting to see it. The very next day, he presented her with two tickets and announced that they'll check it out together._

 _It wasn't a date. Really. But in Rachel's deepest, deepest heart, she could wish that it was._

 _Because in truth, she was in love with her best friend. She was in love with Richard._

 _And she was tired of holding it in._

 _She turned the corridor towards their classroom and noticed a few students loitering about. Classes were done for the day but some clubs were still in session. She neared their classroom and saw that the door was wide open. She turned to enter but stopped dead in her tracks._

 _For there he was, Richard, in a tender embrace with Kori Anders._

 _Rachel felt her blood run cold. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't tear her eyes away from them._

 _She saw Richard pull back from the red-haired girl and plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. She saw the girl smile lovingly up at him before burrowing deeper into his arms. She saw her turn her face towards the door and saw her green eyes widen in shock as they gazed upon her. At that moment, when their eyes met, Rachel felt her heart shatter._

 _She whirled around to run. There was a ringing in her ears. She tried to focus on her breathing when suddenly she slammed into something._

" _Woah!" Firm hands found themselves on her shoulders and gripped to steady her. "Easy there, Rae."_

 _Rachel kept her head down. She couldn't put a face to the voice. There was a blooming lightness in her head and she feared she might faint. But the image wouldn't fade away in her mind._

 _When she felt the stinging in her eyes, she grit her teeth and pushed against whoever was holding her. The person released her with a grunt and Rachel quickly ran, unheeding of the call of her name behind her. She had to get away from here. She had to get away fast._

The next thing she knew, she was in the park. She didn't notice that it had begun to rain. She had ran away in a haze. She didn't notice the rain, she didn't notice her drenched form, and she didn't notice that she had ran all five blocks from the school to the park. She didn't notice anything until a cold breeze blew by and chilled her to the bone. And as the haze dissipated, the hurt returned.

But she refused to let it out. She rooted herself on the spot she stood and blanked her mind. She wouldn't think of how she met Richard. She wouldn't think of how they used to play in this same park as kids. She wouldn't think of how he used to push her on the swings. She wouldn't think of how he presented her with the movie tickets just a few days ago. And she wouldn't especially think of how she saw him with another woman in his arms just a few minutes ago.

She wouldn't think... because it hurt.

Slowly, she trudged towards the swing set and sat in one of the seats. She wrapped her cold hands around the iron chains and pushed her feet against the wet ground. Rachel swung and for a few moments, that was all she did.

She had lost. She had truly lost him now.

"Rachel!" A sudden exclamation from outside the halls caught his attention.

Richard quickly recognized the voice as Wally's and he whipped his head towards the door. There was no one there.

He eased Kori away from him and looked down at her. He saw that she looked upset.

"What is it, Kori?"

The girl met his gaze with wet green eyes. "Rachel," Kori whispered.

What about Rachel? Richard completely disentangled himself from Kori and made to walk towards the door. But Wally suddenly appeared on the doorway with a confused expression.

"Hey, what happened to..." the other boy trailed off as he eyed the only two people in the room. They stood close to each other. "Oh," Wally breathed out. The confused expression on his face faded into a stern look as understanding dawned on him.

Richard didn't understand the quick change of Wally's mood but decided to ignore it. "Where's Rachel?"

Wally's blue eyes seemed to harden at the mention of the name. He turned and looked down to the hall, to where Rachel ran off to. "I dunno. She ran away."

Richard frowned in confusion. Ran away? Why? They had a movie to see later.

Richard looked back to Kori and flashed a small smile. It came a bit strained as a seed of worry began to grow in him. "I gotta go, Kori. Me and Rae have a movie to catch."

Kori looked back at him with sad eyes but nonetheless, returned his smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Richard."

He gave a quick nod before walking towards the exit. As he passed by Wally, he met the other boy's annoyed gaze. "Go find her, quick," Wally said in a hard voice. "She didn't look fine."

Richard immediately worried at that. He wanted to ask more questions at the glaring red-haired boy but Rachel came first. With a firm nod, Richard quickly jogged off to locate his best friend.

He checked in the front of the school where they decided to meet up after his club practice but Rachel wasn't there. He checked the library, the quad, the rooftop, but still, she was nowhere. Richard tried not to panic and pulled out his phone to ring her.

It went to voicemail.

He ran to the parking lot to see if maybe she decided to wait by his car. But she wasn't. And when he tried to call her again, there was still no answer.

"Rae," he whispered under his breath.

Rachel had lost track of time as she sat under the pouring rain. She didn't know how long she cried or how long had she sat there, numbed. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to do anything for now. She just wanted to sit there and let the hurt envelop her. And maybe, just maybe, the rain will wash it away.

She just sat in the swings, stooped and defeated, under the downpour. An image of a broken girl.

That was how Richard found her.

It had been over three hours since Richard left school; two hours past the movie they were supposed to see. Dusk had fallen long before yet the rain hadn't let up yet. And as he drove past the small park he used to frequent as a child, he caught sight of a peculiar figure in the swings. It took him a few moments to recognize the form of his dearest Rachel.

He quickly stepped on the brakes and got out of the car, unmindful that he was getting wet. His mind raced with possible reasons on what could have happened as he ran towards her. She was unmoving. And Richard was getting very scared at her stillness.

She didn't notice the approaching figure until he stopped a few feet beside her. She only saw his feet from her lowered gaze but she knew who it was.

"Rae," Richard called out in a low voice. He was wary. He didn't know what to expect.

Rachel didn't answer.

Her stillness snapped Richard out of his cautiousness and he hurriedly took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. "Rae," he called again, kneeling beside her and trying to look her in the face. He placed a hand firmly on her knees – her skin was freezing – and gently shook her. "Hey, what happened? What's wrong?"

Hearing his voice, the worry in it, made her want to cry again. But no tear fell and for a moment, she thought she might have shed them all. All of them, for him.

"Raven, hey, talk to me." He called her by his special bird moniker for her, a thing from their childhood. "You're scaring me, Rae."

She was scaring him? She mentally scoffed. Does he have any idea what he does to her? What he has done?

But he was her friend. Her bestest friend. Her oldest friend, the one she cannot do without. As hurt as she was right now, it wouldn't be fair to hold her broken heart over his head. He doesn't know anything about it.

Rachel took a deep breath before bringing her face up to look at him. She opened her mouth to tell him she's fine, to tell him a lie or something. But the words wouldn't come out. She looked into his eyes, his blue eyes that she had seen every day of her life. And as she saw him looking back at her with concern, she just knew she loved him so.

She loved him – that was that. She was in love with him, with Richard Grayson, her best friend. It wasn't just a crush, it wasn't just affection borne out of a deep and strong friendship – it was love. It hurt so much because it was love.

And that realization was what made her able to produce a smile for him – albeit a sad, defeated one. "I'm sorry, Rich."

"What?" He gripped her knee tighter. "Why? What for?"

"I..." she looked down at his hand on her knee and told herself that love wasn't selfish. "I missed the movie."

Richard's eyebrows rose on his forehead. She's sorry about... what? Here she was, sitting under the downpour looking like her whole world had come down on her and she's sorry for missing the movie? A sharp flash of irritation ran through Richard. "What happened?" He asked in a grave voice.

Her sad smile didn't waver. After she had cried her heart-break out, she was slowly filling up with calm acceptance. She had been defeated. What else was there to lament about? She had been foolish enough to fall for her friend and this was her punishment. Foolish enough to fall, foolish enough to hope.

"Rachel. What happened?"

"I fell in love."

Out of all the possible reasons he had conjured up in his mind, Richard did not expect to hear that. He stared at her, wide-eyed in surprise, the words she said echoing in his head.

She fell in love.

Then why was she crying?

"I did," she continued to say in a soft voice. "I was stupid enough to fall. And now... it hurts. He loves someone else."

He didn't know what to say. He just stared at her as she spoke in the soft, defeated tone that wrenched at his heart. She was hurt. His little bird was hurt. And it wasn't the kind of hurt where he could just hunt the guy and beat him up, no. It was an abstract pain, one in the heart. One of a love that has been spurned. He didn't quite know how to deal with that.

She figured it was better this way. She could tell it to him like this, with him not knowing that she was really referring to him. This way, she could let it all out to him. Then maybe she can put a close to this chapter of her life.

She looked to his face again and saw that he was confused. His concern was now mixed with uncertainty. His brows had furrowed and his jaws were tight. Yet, with his drenched hair and the raindrops running down his face, he looked beautiful. It was him, her Richard, her friend, her brother, her anchor, her protector, her hero. It was him and she loved him so. She loved him enough to want him to be happy. She loved him enough to let him go.

"But it's okay, Robin." She placed on hand over his own that was atop her knee. "It's okay because it wasn't meant to be. I wasn't supposed to fall for him and he was never meant to look at me that way. He deserves better. It was nobody's fault."

Richard shifted his hand to face up and clasped hers tightly. "Rae." It was all he could say at the moment.

He wanted to comfort her, tell her it'll be fine. He wanted to get mad and demand her to tell him the name of the bastard so he could hunt him down and make him wish he never made Rachel fall for him (and cry). He wanted to get annoyed that she was weeping about some guy who obviously doesn't know what he was missing. He wanted to do all these, but he cannot find the strength in him. The sight of Rachel's grief siphoned all the strength out of him. He had only seen her like this once, when her father had died, and back then, he told himself he never wanted to see her like that again.

But here she was, weeping under the rain over some guy who couldn't return her love, over a pain he failed to protect her from. All he could do was hold her hand tightly.

"I love him, Rich. I really do." A violent sob shook her body and Richard quickly pulled her down and into his embrace.

It hurt to see her like this.

He shushed her gently. "Don't cry, Rae. Please."

"I'm not," she let out a chuckle. "I'm done crying."

Richard held her tighter to him. "He doesn't deserve you. Whoever that bastard is, he doesn't deserve you."

Rachel just closed her eyes tight as she burrowed deep into his embrace and listened to the beating of his heart. "It's the opposite actually. He's too good for me."

She heard him 'tsk' in disagreement and again, she managed a chuckle despite the stream of tears running down her face. "No one is ever too good for you. No one is even good enough to deserve you," he told her sternly.

And this was why she loves him so. She let her arms lace around his waist to hold him back. She wanted to feel him – his warmth, his presence, his person – for this moment. Just for this moment.

"I want him to be happy," she whispered softly. "I just want you to be happy."

It took a few moments for the words to sink into his brain. Did he hear her right?

"Promise me, Richard." Her tone turned firm. "Promise me you'll be happy."

He loosened his arms around her but didn't pull back completely. "What?"

"Promise me."

"Rae, what are you..." he trailed off as he held her away from him by her shoulders.

She unlatched his hands and clasped them tightly in her little ones. She looked up at him with new tears running down her mottled face. "Promise me that you'll always chase after the things that you love. Promise me that no matter what happens to us, you'll never change, that you'll always be my best friend. Promise me that even after we graduate, when you leave and go after your dreams, you'll still remember me. Don't ever forget me. Promise me that—"

She was rambling, her control over her emotions gone. But Richard wasn't hearing her. His mind was stuck on one thing that she had said. _I just want you to be happy._ It echoed in his mind as a slow realization came upon him.

"Rae," he said in a whisper. But she didn't seem to hear as she continued her rant. He could make her a thousand promises and he'll be sure to make true to them all but that wasn't what's important at the moment. "Raven," he tried again. But either she had turned deaf or she just wasn't listening to him. Richard looked her, at her soaked form, her reddened face, her puffy eyes and the tears that ran from them. She looked heartbreakingly beautiful.

How could anyone not love her?

He frowned at her rambling and called her attention on more time. "Rachel!"

"I just want you to be happy, even if it's not with me! So promise me, Richard, promise me!"

His breath caught in his throat. He stared wide-eyed at her bowed head before him, the implication of what she said coming so clearly to him. He remained looking at her as she slowly brought her face up, still with that heart-broken expression, and looked at him imploringly. "Promise me," she whispered. "Please."

Richard couldn't take it anymore. So he leaned down and kissed her.

He felt her stiffen and quickly took the opportunity to extract his hands from her hold to cup her small face tenderly. And even though she was unmoving, Richard continued to kiss her firmly.

He let the kiss speak for him. His feelings, his devotion, his promises and all that he has to offer to her, he channelled it all in his kiss.

She loves him. It was him, the one she spoke about. The one she loved enough to shed tears for – him. The one she wished happiness for, even at the expense of her own heart – him. It was him.

But contrary to what she believed, he loved her back. So much so, in fact.

After a moment, he pulled back for some air. When he glanced down at her, she was looking up at him with wide, watery eyes.

"What are you doing?"

He opened his mouth to answer but she continued.

"What are you doing? You're with Kori." Her voice had begun to shake and she slowly backed away from him. "I saw you with… You… No."

"Rachel," he called out as she slipped from his hold and stood up. As she turned and started to walk away, Richard quickly tried to catch her arm. "Rachel!"

She ignored him. Her mind was still reeling at what he had done. He kissed her. He was with another girl earlier, cradling her in his arms and placing gentle kisses on her forehead, and yet, he had the gall to kiss her. This was low. This was just low, even for him.

"Rachel!" Richard ran to catch up with her before snagging her upper arm in a tight grip. "I love you!"

She froze on her steps.

"I'm in love with you." His voice was firm and sure. "I've only ever been in love with you."

Unbidden, tears fell from her eyes again. It seemed she still has some to spare. But what was he talking about?

"Rae, please." Richard pulled gently on her arm, "Look at me."

A shiver wracked her body and she felt a sob claw its way out of her throat. But before she can cry out, she felt Richard's strong arms wrap around her, pulling her towards him and engulfing her in his warmth.

And Rachel simply let herself go.

He held her tighter as she wept, his own eyes stinging with the beginning of his own tears. "Hush, Rae, don't cry. Please." He ran a gentle hand on her head before pulling her closer to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'd never hurt you, Rae."

"I know," she managed in between sobs, letting her own arms wrap around him to hold him back.

"I'm not with Kori, Rae, I swear."

"It's okay," she answered hoarsely.

"No, it's not." Richard protested. "What you saw today was nothing. She…" he trailed off as he thought on how to explain what happened between him and the other girl earlier in the day. He tightened his embrace before continuing, "Kori confessed to me today. She told he she had romantic feelings for me. She asked if I could give her a chance."

Rachel stilled in his hold.

Feeling her taut form, Richard tightened his arms around her. "But I rejected her. I don't know what you saw earlier, Rae, but I rejected her."

"Why?"

"Because I want you." Richard let out a relieved sigh after saying that, as if carrying that secret had been nothing but a burden and now that he had finally let it out, admitted it, he had been set free. "I only wanted you, Rae, only you. Whether you'd only have me as a friend or you'd give a chance to be more, I don't care, as long as it's you. I could be anything as long as it's you."

"Richard," she sobbed brokenly against his wet shirt.

"I love you, Rae." He whispered against her hair reverently. "I really do."

Fighting against her sobbing, Rachel tried to return the sentiment. "I— I love you, t-too."

And with those words, Richard's chest eased and serenity filled him. Finally, he felt complete.

"Shush now," he spoke gently against her, running a hand gently up and down her back. "We're good now, Rae. We're okay now."

Out of nowhere, a giggle escaped from Rachel's lips. A smile found its way on Richard's own at hearing the sound and he slowly pulled back from their embrace, looking down to see her face.

Rachel looked up at him, wide eyes twinkling with unbridled happiness. "We will be."

She loves him and he felt the same for her. They have always had each other, then as friends, and now as something more. And it was all they could ask for.

Slowly, Richard leaned down towards her and this time, Rachel was ready to receive him. They kissed again, soft and tender.

 **~FIN**


End file.
